Finding a new church has been a
God thing. He has used/is using the weekly sermons to hit on some major issues
in my life. Issues I either didn’t know I had or didn’t want to face. We have
been to four services.
The first service was based on the
premises that we are champions. That we are not losers and God did not put us
here to “fail”. This was a really big deal after spending weeks being told that
our lives are screwed and we’ll be in poverty the rest of our lives.
The second sermon was about how
stuff happens in our life that gets between us and God. And what some of those
things are. The thing that hit home for me was being angry at God for stuff
that has happened. For having plans all worked out and God saying “nope, not my
plan…let’s go this opposite direction.” The end of that sermon had me sobbing.
I thought I was dealing with the changes from the last summer pretty well.
Until he said something about being angry at God for plans not going the way I
planned them. It hit me when he said that, that I have been angry. The anger
hasn’t really been directed at any one person...but maybe it has been at God.
There’s this anger about having a life in the military planned out, with a
steady/reliable income, military family, opportunity to travel the world, not
requiring me to work to make ends meet. And to have all of that stripped away
much sooner than we ever expected. To suddenly be living with in-laws, me
having to get a job, not having our own home, being forced to listen to how we
screwed up on a regular basis, and being constantly reminded that we have
nothing. Yeah, not the highlight of my year. And I honestly thought I was doing
pretty well with it all. I’ve learned in the last couple of months that I’m not
doing as well as I’d hoped.
After those Sundays we start a new
sermons series on gratefulness. Using the parable of the 10 lepers and teaching
how we want to be, “The One” who came back to thank Jesus for healing him. I
didn’t think much about this sermon until something clicked. I have been
fighting to be grateful for what we have the last few months.
The fourth Sunday was a
continuation of “The One” series. This one was focused on how we need to be
more excited about what God gives us then was the world gives us. The point
that hit home for me of course was that we need to thank God for everything all
the time and be grateful for all. This was after a hard week for me in that
area. I got my hair cut by a new person who sucked. I knew mid haircut when she
was screwing it up that it was wrong…and all I could think about what the
awesome lady I had found in Colorado before was moved. We got to go a
get-to-gather with our Young Married Sunday School class. And we had a great
time. But I had a hard time because I kept thinking “I miss our Nav group”. No
one will ever compare to the group of amazing people we met in the navigator
group in Colorado. We fit in perfectly and I remember walking into the room the
first time we met our Nav group and feeling completely comfortable, and being
loved by them for who we were.
So to go to church Sunday and hear
a sermon talking about how we need to thank God for everything even if we don’t
feel grateful, hit home pretty hard for me. I have not been doing a good job of
being grateful for what we have. Even though I am very grateful to be out of
the military life and the miserable experience we had with it. I am very sad to
have had to leave our friends and independent life behind. And what I am being
taught right now is that I need to move forward. That life is over and we have
a new life that needs my full and undivided attention. And this right now is
the hardest thing I have ever had to do, especially when much of the new life
sucks.
OMG!! Today was the end of the
Grateful Sermon series. I am completely speechless at how God can speak so
incredibly directly to you, especially through church. Last night we ended our
night with a fight. About stuff I was/wasn’t doing, but mainly about some
feelings he had been having about stuff that has happened in the past and how
those feelings affect our future. The next day we were late to church (as
usual) but we ended up in the next to front row. The sermon could not have been
more point on about what we had argued over the night before. At one point the
pastor was “yelling” at the congregation and I swear on my life that it was God
yelling at us to get His point across. I think the thing that hit home the most
for us was that “thanksgiving to God produces Peace” and that “we have been
called to warrior living”, or rather “called to live as warriors”. And THEN we
walk into Sunday school and the topic of the lesson is Overcoming Fear and Anxiety,
which went perfectly with what the sermon had hit on. The biggest take-away
from the Sunday school lesson was that “you need to get rid of anger and be
grateful for what happened to you”. Now they were talking more about abuse
situations and what-not. BUT after the summer we’ve had I can tell you that there
has been some pent up anger, for both of us. I’ve been dealing with anger the
last few weeks…and I discovered that he’s been dealing with pent up
emotions/anger the last few months.
After today’s church there were
several things that were made very clear to us that we need to change. And in
our near future we will be dealing with some life changes. It was an awesome
thing for both of us to come away with a very clear understanding of some
things that need to change, and to feel peace about those things. Our lessons
are FAR from being learned but I feel very confident that we are on the right
path and that God is directing us. And he is using our time at this church as a
great instrument.
Summary of five weeks of sermons:
1.
Not losers, not here to fail
2.
Being angry at God separates us from God
3.
Thanking God draws us nearer to God
4.
Thank God because he commands us to and we need
to.
5.
Thank God in advance for his victories because
we know he is going to do something great.
